she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
