Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i came on her dog
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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