Screwed.edu
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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