I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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