Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
