I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
