Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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