Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
