So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
