Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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