I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
