And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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