by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
