i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
