If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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