Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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