Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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