What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
