hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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