It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
