she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
