I have demons in me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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