he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
