Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
