dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
