It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
