but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i believe in u and ur pee
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
