Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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