Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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