If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
