I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
