Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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