i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
