YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
