hell yes lets make some ravioli
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
