watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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