we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
