Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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