Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize