i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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