Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
