I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
