umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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