I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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