make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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