She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i dont even know how to be here
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
