I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
