Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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