I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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