I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize