I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
