Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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