problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
