Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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