there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
