my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize