I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
