We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm getting married
To pizza
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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