Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize