i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
