i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize