it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
